Dear owners of Kite Hill Nut Milk Cheeses,

Can I please have you adopt me as your own? I realize this could be an inconvenience as I am married and have a baby and 4 cats but you happen to make THE most delicious Brie like cheese I have ever eaten.

I haven’t had Brie in at least 4 years since I became vegan. Even when I ate cheese it was maybe 2-3 times a year that I would treat myself to it. But I spent the $13.99 for the little wheel of White Alder and had great anticipation.

To say I LOVE your cheese is an understatement. I LOVE this cheese. It’s like crack, and no I haven’t ever had it but it’s like really good sex, shoot I don’t want to get obscene but I can’t tell you in appropriate words how much I love this cheese.

I actually allow myself one wheel per month lol. The first week of every month I buy myself some at Whole Foods. I allow myself to indulge and I eat it on the original Ezekial Bread (the orange loaf) with a light spread of Earth Balance Buttery Spread and a light spread of White Alder. Then I add on the side 4 pieces of LightLife Smart Bacon and I could literally go to heaven in a bite.

I am not sure how you have nailed the texture of the “outer crust” of the dairy brie, but you did. I’m not sure how you made the middle creamy and soft and slightly sticky like dairy Brie, but you did.

I am not sure how you have created a vegan masterpiece or why you can’t make it multiply when I open my fridge to find one more packet but I love your cheese. I do. If I could marry a cheese this would be “the one.” My cheesy soul mate.

This is the cheese that you “wait” until you get married for. Daiya is the good time cheese, the trusty one. The one you bring home to meet your parents. But Kite Hill White Alder Cheese…you ARE Prince Charming. White horse, Ferrari, mansion, pool, piles of money…satin sheets…yes. You ARE the one.

So, in closing, would you be MINE and mine alone? Seduce me with your slightly savory, oh so creamy, perfectly textured amazingly flavored cheese. Never leave me. Just promise you can stay. Forever. Oh how I love you!


Please know, Kite Hill has in no way paid me to stalk, endorse or love them the way I do. I’m just obsessed. And please don’t get a restraining order. Because I can’t love without this cheese!!!

My cruddy iPhone pics of Kite Hill’s beautifully designed package: